I consider myself a prostitute….

I was just reading Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes and I found it to be very vulgar and at the same time very beautiful.
Paulo Coelho is my mentor, my favourite writer and a very touching philosopher. His book gave me many of the answers I had been searching for. It is the story of a prostitute doing prostitution in a unknown country to collect money to fulfill her dreams and like I had said before, searching for love.

I always wondered why did the prostitutes become prostitutes, which were the emotions that drove them, why did they have the so called desperateness for money.
Why did they do it, knowing that later on the society will always consider them lewd and not accept them?

I got many of my answers and as for learning, I discovered… That I was no less than a prostitute.


Maria - the prostitute

Just as she sold her body for money, I had begun to sell my love for happiness, something which I wanted desperately. Sometimes my emotions drove me to such an extent that when my true self arrived, I felt more cheap than anything else would be in this world.

“Even when I write this now, I feel so guilty that that guilt can never be expressed in a few words. In this world so cruel, I begged for love from someone whom I loved. I learned that love is a free emotion, it flows in the air. It need not make its present felt to all but the day it enters someone just like the air, it spreads to every part of your body, every section of your soul, it flows in your veins and it pumps through your heart. It does not need words to describe itself and it is best felt in silence. It’s just like passion, a desire of believing in something unexpected. And here I was, begging for it so that I can live. I learned that I maybe I did not know what was love and how it was to be felt but I still am sure that I did love. I loved my life, my dreams, my passion, my hard work, my honesty, my world and…. Her. It is something which can never ever be denied by my soul.”


Truer than anything...

After she left me, my real prostitute came over, the professional one.
I stopped feeling and living. I started selling myself to life and became unnecessarily focused a lot to my work. I started loving professionalism. My whole day became the night of prostitution and my night became the days. Those were the times I would let my emotions go. What would have I done?

I needed to preserve my soul and have hope, so that it did not get lost in the sadness of my heart.

I know there are many like me out there, waiting for some miracle to happen. Hoping for something unexpected that would change their lives forever. For them I say, believe.
Believe. That’s enough.


28 thoughts on “I consider myself a prostitute….

  1. Paulo Coelho is a world in himself. HIs first work I read was the witch of portobello, my life has never been the same again, then I read the alchemist, and then a little of veronica wants to die.
    His magnitude of love and emotions is huge.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You already have the most important ingredient you need to create what you want to bring into your life, “belief” keep your focus on love, and will come. Not any love in particular just love to and be loved.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “why did the prostitutes become prostitutes”… well, outside of novels, they are often coerced into this type of slavery and they don’t do it for the money since it’s only their slave-drivers who receive the money.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Surely! Well! When i read it i was actually surprised looking at the amount of preaching and spirituality described in there. But in the end, love is all about burning down your impurities and building a pure soul. The best part was making Maria walk on the coal. :’)

    Liked by 1 person

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