They say, ‘ Forgive and forget.’
Is it so easy? To have control over all your emotions, all your pain? No it isn’t and that is why I always said, its easy to say.
Me? I always tried to make peace. I was the fighter. But still, it have never been easy. I started this blog to pen down my feelings but I stopped when I realised it just ain’t fair. But time has got me back to that point. The ‘She came back‘ point. And this small, touchy writer is back with the flood of those emotions which I had thought I have lost.
I just want to share today that it isn’t easy to forgive and then ‘forget’.
Those emotions, they bind you somewhere. That one person who hurts and you hear their name and feel all those feelings again…
Its just that, for a second everything seems so wonderful. Feels as if you got everything that you ever wanted and then? Then those loveliest people in your life say or do something and those memories, those emotions come back.
I, personally, if I myself remember my story want to forgive her, to forget those memories which haunt me every night. I wanna feel that love again which once I thought I deserved. But I guess, life is not just that easy. You do everything to make it all good, to bring all of it back but after few trials you find yourself again in that darkness. Feels like home isn’t it?
But, but it isn’t your home. It is not meant to be.
I say, I will feel the pain, but just feel it for the sake of knowing what happiness means, but it is not to be in my life. Pain is not meant to be carved in my heart, because it is the place where she resides, a little home of mine which I have already given to someone till the time ends.
Now there is only one thing that I would ever need, her support because I know someday she will love me, not because I love her but because it was meant to be and it is something which gives me the hope, the reason to live. Cant lose the reason to live, can I?
So I just close my eyes, and believe.
God knows I have made my share of mistakes, some unforgivable, some forgettable, but this is the only chance I have got to make it right. I don’t know, my inspiration, if we are meant to be together, if we share a infinity.. The only thing I know is I have given my everything to feel who you are.. and I wont let that sacrifice be a waste till the time I live, my Lady.