The Starry Skies…

Ever looked at the sky and felt sympathy towards yourself?
I feel with the pace that our lives are changing, we are getting more modern, with new smartphones coming out each day, with every individual incapable of communicating in real life setting up  his own virtual world;  I feel…  We have stopped looking at the starry skies…

Universe  has a plan they say, that it will give all the answers that you seek, all the knowledge that you desire…  And I don’t doubt it…
Indeed,  this world is a beautiful place.

But we, people, are social beings, incapable of surviving on our own, we need people, we need the ultimate tonic of happy life – love….

Without it we are nothing, yes, but what about the universe?  What about the love it gives you? Then why do we feel alone?
I don’t think I am capable of giving you that answer but yes I am capable of saying that however charming it may sound, it is not easy…  Not easy to feel the love of the nature, cause however philosophical we be, the truth is we are still vulnerable beings, we need people to give us love…  and as a matter of fact, its no wrong.

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Stars...

When I look at the sky sometimes, I realise I am not what I used to be…  I am more strong, capable of controlling my emotions (I don’t mean hiding them from others, its a different thing) and to summarise, I can say – I have grown.

You know there were times it hurted to let people go, I cried even though I knew it is all vain. I cried, because I believed I will get up next morning and never cry for that same reason again. I cried, because sometimes it is completely right to set the wild horses of your emotions free, so that next you have a better grip on them.
But whenever I cried, I looked myself in the mirror and asked myself, was this what I really am?
Those red eyes helped me find my answers. So next time you cry, do that, I am sure you will also get those answers you seek.

And maybe, next time, you wont make anyone cry because you would have know that no one deserves to let their precious tears fall….

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In a while….

Its been time. It has really been time since I have done the things I used to do.
Writing blogs, creating poems, reading novels and among all that…. feeling loved. All these things I have not been able to do in a while, which makes me wonder…. about the changes that we come across.

The mystical powers that the Time possess, to change everything which once mattered to you into nothing. To show you, how temporary most of the things are. To make you realise, you still have a long way to go.

Feelings are an exception though, they seldom change. Even if you show that you hate that person/thing, there must have been a time when you would have loved it. That feeling of love will never go away, whatever you do.

When your life takes a turn and you start losing control over yourself, you let it all go.
They say,” Sometimes its good to go with the flow.
Maybe its true, or maybe its not.
If I look at myself, that change hasn’t been so rough. Though I accept that not being able to do whatever I loved really made me feel a sense of loss but Time as I said, with its magical powers, would do something better for me.

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True... To the core

So yes, I don’t say give in to life, neither can I ever say, give up to life; but there are times when you do go with the flow.
Just don’t be afraid, that you are losing control over your life and all. Have faith.
Its only that you don’t know what to do so you are just letting life reveal itself to you in its mystical ways. You are not losing control over it whatsoever.

In a while?
It will all be fine….

Cartoons. Creativity or Dreams?

We have all been a child sometime isn’t it?
There By God’s grace, many of us have been fortunate enough to grow in good families, providing all the eases of life. To them I ask, have you watched cartoons??
Yes. Isn’t it?
When I look at myself, I used to watch cartoons a lot but now even if I open cartoon channels by mistake, I switch them off.

So, why did I do that? I used to watch cartoons a lot but now I consider them a waste of time. Why?
Is it because I am going too much into reality and cartoons are far away from that ?

If you ask me I would say that cartoons were made to teach children how to imagine, how to dream.
Because it is the only age when we have the liberty to dream whatever we want to, to feel any feeling we desire, to wish for anything we’d love to have even if its not possible in the real world.
As we start growing up, we come into the reality of the world. We start realising that whatever we dreamt to be, was just a dream and believing that it could never be our destiny, we don’t even try. Some of us get so disappointed, that they even stop dreaming, fearing how much it would hurt to realise that their dreams, their wishes will never come true.

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Always believe.

So yes, cartoons are necessary.

Never stop dreaming. I don’t say, dream yourself to be the king of the world! But yes, even that is possible. So believe in yourself and have faith in Him. Turn your dreams into your destiny with hard work and patience.
Keep your one foot in reality and one in dreams. Balance them and they will take you on a journey unimagined and unforgettable.

Dream to live. Live to dream.

You and me… Travellers?

There are times when emotions overcome your self. You forget who you are. They are a like a fast flowing river and you, like an amateur swimmer who have neither the strength nor the will to fight the powerful stream.

I really feel guilty, my readers, as I promised you all some inspiration to continue and ended up sharing my uncontrollable emotions with you all. I am sorry.

Yes, I accept. Your Inspirer was in need of more inspiration than any of you and after days of struggle, he finally saw a light.

A light, which made him forget all his pain and all his scars. I do not say he lost them but yes, they are all safe in a distant memory because I feel that they have their own importance and one day  I will need them. But, right now, He is or I should say, we are just travellers.

We travel through space and time, each and every second, with eyes open and hearts sealed, with promises broken and love healed. We travel, because that is what we are all supposed to do, isn’t it?

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My mentor, my motivation....

But when you look at a traveller you will find, there are days when the situations oppose his will, he gets tired, weary and incapable of any further steps. He stops, pauses for a few moments promising himself that he will get up again; because his journey is still incomplete.

He takes rest, prays to God to make him well and at the end after a few days time he gets ready to move on.

Wait, I asked that traveller? Why don’t you take some more rest? Aren’t you happy that you don’t have to fight those winds and mountains? All you gotta do is just here and enjoy the nature.

“No, the rigid traveller said, I have no desire to sit here and look at the world move at its place. I was born to travel and fight the difficulties and nothing can give me more happiness that I get by fighting those storms. Yes, I needed rest but God knows each second spent here sitting idle reminded me of the distance I have come, and the miles still left to travel. I couldn’t find peace a single moment.”

I have been just like that traveller, I was tired, broken and needed rest. But now, the moments of rest for me are over. I need to continue my journey because my travelling is my passion, my religion, my peace, my God.
I paused for a moment and lost all my peace, just like him.

Yes, my dear readers, you Inspirer was tired, he was flowing in his emotions. But, he is back now, ready to take you all to another journey full of life.
Let us travel. Together. Forever, on a journey which has no end and no dearth of inspiration.

And at last a message for her, if she reads it in some forgotten time:
I was in need of care and love, you gave it all to me. I am sorry that I just got so lost in it that I forgot I started binding my love. But, the truth is, I love you miss more than I ever loved myself and I will wait for the right time, because I know our love will get us together. For the present time, I have decided to try to start living once more. I know you will be happy if I do that and your happiness is what I ever lived for.

I need to write about Love…

From Maria’s diary:
I need to think and think and write and write about love – or else my soul wont survive.
– Eleven Minutes, Paulo Coelho

That is the reason I write about Love.
True Love is really different. It is a feeling above any other which can surpass all the world’s hatred, anger, selfishness or anything.
It is something so beautiful, which can teach you how to live even if it takes all the reason you had for your life.

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To write love...

When I look at myself what She (my love) taught me, I find a huge list.
But in the list, above all is that, she taught me how to love.
She taught me how to care about someone even if they throw you out of their life; how to silently look at someone and be happy for a few seconds, knowing, it would bring you pain for the rest of the night.

She taught me how to fall, how to cry, how to get up and how to smile.
How to give everything you have without demanding anything in return.

She taught me how to miss, how to care, how to cherish and how to bear.
How to hide all that is inside and be cheerful on the outside.

For all that, I am grateful to Love.

But I know somewhere on the inside that she still loves me, I know it.
But still I know I will do nothing, because I may love her but I don’t own her.
(Remember that my friends, Love means caring, not owning…)
I wont control her, I wont expect anything. I will just be there for you whenever you need me, because:
When she tries to hide all her feelings, she forgets I know her better than she knows herself.
I know when I get lost in the crowd, her eyes still search for me.
I know when I am going, she would turn back and look at me.
I know one day when I will not be here, she will miss me.

You say you want me to move on, but let me tell you something,
I have loved you for two years and I will love for hundred more. The reason I am still alive is I believe that someday, you will come back to me…. and even if you don’t, I will go on to love you till the day God decides to take my soul away.

I wont let my inspiration get lost in this cruel world.
Because,
I need to write about Love.

I watch you disappear in the darkness…

Been a long time, I have been living without her. Have not seen her for quite a bit.
Hear from my friend, she studies at his tuition.
Heart stops beating, feel like seeing her. Cant stop myself. But,
Whats the use? She is no longer mine, and she does not want me to be hers.
Why these emotions then?
I know it would hurt me if I see her smiling, knowing I could not be the reason behind it. But, it would hurt me more if I don’t see her. I will have to go, I did go.

There are times in your life when you find someone for you, and maybe intentionally, they let you go. They feel as if they will find someone better or maybe they comprehend that (if they are modest enough) you will find someone better.

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It did, I know and I believe in myself...

But its too late, you have already  given your heart. But its no use, cause they wont understand this. If they would have, they would not have left you all alone in the first place. But they think they know better, that its good for “both of you” to go separate ways. And you.
You just smile one last time and accept their decision. Not cause you think the same, it is because you would never like to go against the wish of your ‘God‘.

Still, you go and see them, tell them that you survived. Tell them that you did love them because you came, when they did not even cared to have a look.

Yes, love can break hearts, but that  heart is joined back. Maybe not joined with love, but joined back with so much of strength and will power; that it will not break again.

Yes, you are now weak, you have lost your reason to live but you have survived. Now, you are strong enough to fight this world, smart enough not to  trust anyone with your heart again, lovable enough that some people will always care for you truly, determined enough to struggle for your materialistic dreams and hurt enough so that when world sees you, it sees that you silence silences.

And here I am back again, watching you from a distance. Close enough to see you physically, but far enough that you can hide what is in your heart.
You don’t care even if I am there, you have to go and you will go, like you always did.
I smile in my heart, yes so she is fine. Better than me and I am happy, I don’t know why.
Maybe that’s what I always wanted, your happiness. Wanted it so desperately that I let go of mine in front of my eyes.
That is love for me.

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Love..

And now when I collect my broken pieces and look at you again, I see you going back to your own world, and I sit there quietly just to watch you disappear in the darkness…

I consider myself a prostitute….

I was just reading Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes and I found it to be very vulgar and at the same time very beautiful.
Paulo Coelho is my mentor, my favourite writer and a very touching philosopher. His book gave me many of the answers I had been searching for. It is the story of a prostitute doing prostitution in a unknown country to collect money to fulfill her dreams and like I had said before, searching for love.

I always wondered why did the prostitutes become prostitutes, which were the emotions that drove them, why did they have the so called desperateness for money.
Why did they do it, knowing that later on the society will always consider them lewd and not accept them?

I got many of my answers and as for learning, I discovered… That I was no less than a prostitute.

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Maria - the prostitute

Just as she sold her body for money, I had begun to sell my love for happiness, something which I wanted desperately. Sometimes my emotions drove me to such an extent that when my true self arrived, I felt more cheap than anything else would be in this world.

“Even when I write this now, I feel so guilty that that guilt can never be expressed in a few words. In this world so cruel, I begged for love from someone whom I loved. I learned that love is a free emotion, it flows in the air. It need not make its present felt to all but the day it enters someone just like the air, it spreads to every part of your body, every section of your soul, it flows in your veins and it pumps through your heart. It does not need words to describe itself and it is best felt in silence. It’s just like passion, a desire of believing in something unexpected. And here I was, begging for it so that I can live. I learned that I maybe I did not know what was love and how it was to be felt but I still am sure that I did love. I loved my life, my dreams, my passion, my hard work, my honesty, my world and…. Her. It is something which can never ever be denied by my soul.”

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Truer than anything...

After she left me, my real prostitute came over, the professional one.
I stopped feeling and living. I started selling myself to life and became unnecessarily focused a lot to my work. I started loving professionalism. My whole day became the night of prostitution and my night became the days. Those were the times I would let my emotions go. What would have I done?

I needed to preserve my soul and have hope, so that it did not get lost in the sadness of my heart.

I know there are many like me out there, waiting for some miracle to happen. Hoping for something unexpected that would change their lives forever. For them I say, believe.
Believe. That’s enough.